Blog

#

Wedding Day

Thursday, September 25, 2014

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 2 Corinthians 4:17

One year ago you said yes to marry the man of your dreams. For 365 days, you think about that special day and meticulously prepare for the wedding. No details are overlooked; you know that you are doing everything in your power to make that day a complete success. Not just for yourself, but for everyone who has supported you through this amazing wedding journey. There were hard times of course, with tough decisions to be made, but you always managed to keep the big perspective on that wedding day. It would be your day to shine. So you continued to wait with anticipation for the day to arrive. Almost flawlessly, everything came together at just the right time. You became filled with excitement as the day drew nearer. You knew you were ready; there was nothing left to do except fine tune the last minute details.

 The week of the wedding, when the final preparations were being made, he called you. The man of your dreams slowly began to tell you he just couldn’t marry you. No explanation. Out of nowhere. You were left dumbfounded. Pain and heartache erupted as you realize he just tore apart your heart.

But you quickly decide your heart is not fully torn. You want to fight for him. You decide you cannot lose the opportunity to spend the rest of your life with the man of your dreams. So you begin to plea. You do everything you can to win him back. You get advice from relationship experts everywhere, fully confident you will win him back. You have to win him back. Not just for yourself, but for the incredible village surrounding you, who had supported you through everything.

Eventually, after much struggle, you come to the realization that you have to listen to your head instead of your heart. Logically, you know you can’t fight for something that’s already broken. You can’t fight for something that’s not meant to be. More pain ensues when you let your head master your heart.

Your head tells you that the pain will bring growth and that growth will create an endless amount of new opportunities awaiting to be unleashed. Your heart doesn’t want to listen. But then, you see a light ahead. Your Father begins calling you through the open door.  You move toward Him, knowing that he will hold you, and you’ll eventually be all right.

Well, no one put a ring on it; I was not engaged to the man of my dreams. But we all experience our own personal wedding stories. This past year, my big wedding day was preparing for Ironman Chattanooga. I decided to focus on this race for a number of reasons. The race greatly suited my strengths and limiters. Practically all of Charlotte planned to make the six hour drive to cheer or race. Plus, Little Debbie was the title sponsor! How great would Little Debbie be at the finish line of an all day endurance event?

I started the season with a fun engagement party – a 9:42 Ironman. The party was fun, and everything went smoothly. After a nice recovery it was time to prepare for that special wedding day.

Preparation went great. I had a blast in training and pushed myself deeper then I had ever dug before.

Jimmie Johnson Wellness Challenge Triathlon

Jimmie Johnson Wellness Challenge Triathlon

My last hard workout before my two week taper was a long

Taper time training with Smasheton!

Taper time training with Smasheton!

brick. I did an 86 mile ride with 2×90 minutes at 10% above Ironman effort followed by a 16 mile run. The first 3 miles I hit 6:40s, the next 3 miles at 8:00, then the last two miles I was supposed to accelerate a bit. My next mile was at 6:25, and I felt good. So I decided to push the final tempo mile, starting at 6:15 and finishing at 5:00. I felt strong and enjoyed the long easy cool down after a great confidence – boosting workout. I spent the remainder of the week resting, recovering, and sharpening all three disciplines. On one of my final pool swim workouts before the big day, I couldn’t push off the wall. My left calf was so tight. Did I overdo it five days prior? Why did I have a golf ball size knot in my calf? That night I had plans to get dinner with my former Davidson tennis teammate, who is a sports medicine doctor. She saw me limping and immediately examined my calf. Without hesitation, she told me that I had a partial tear. Partially torn calf, fully torn heart. I did what you should never do when diagnosed with anything, and I made friends with Google and all the best doctors in Charlotte. I received incredible advice and simply the best physical therapy. But time was not on my side. I began torturing myself thinking about how the entire last year I had focused on this one event. Life was not unfolding according to my plan.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9

But it was not about my plans; it was time to relinquish control. I needed to give up the idolatry of self-reliance and instead fully depend on God. I needed to learn to trust God no matter what my circumstance.

Trust in Him at all times you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:8

It’s easy to trust when everything falls according to plan. But He wants us to trust when despair keeps knocking, the doors keep closing, and the pain keeps coming. He is there in the center of it all, the good, the bad, the ugly. Sometimes I need to be reminded of this. I’m so grateful for my trainer at the United States Performance Center who reminded me that when I rise, when I fall, He’ll be there through it all:

 

Some days I’m feeling like I

Can’t win, can’t get it right

Don’t matter how hard I try

Today is not my day

When it feels like I’m going crazy

When I rise, when I fall

You’ll be there through it all

At the start, and the end

In the center of, the center of it

Some nights, I lay awake

And I can’t push these thoughts away

I’m worried where I’m gonna go

Where I’m gonna be

Are you gonna be there for me?

When it feels like the doors are closing

Gotta trust that You’re doing something

Come sun, come rainy day

You are all I need

In the dark, in the light

In the morning and night

In the good, in the hurt

In the places I hide

When I rise, when I fall

You’ll be there through it all

At the start, and the end

In the center of, the center of it

There will be days I will forget

Everything You’ve done for me

But when I go back there again

I’m reminded

In the dark, in the light

In the morning, in the night

In the dark, in the light

In the morning and the night

In the good, in the hurt

In the places I hide

When I rise, when I fall

You’ll be there through it all

At the start, and the end

In the center of, the center of it

The center of it all

The center of it all

In the loss, in the win

In the beauty and the sin

At the start, at the end

In the center of, the center of it

 Despite all my best plans, my wedding day was just not meant to be. If I want to be competitive with the best in the world, all logic says that I cannot compete with a partially torn calf. The good news is that I had already planned on racing Ironman Cozumel at the end of November. So now my main priority will be proper long term healing and changing my focus to Cozumel. I am so grateful for my sponsors, therapists, doctors, trainers, and Coach Phil who have been so patient with me during this tough time while together we make the best long term decision. Anything worth having is worth the wait. I am patiently waiting for that wedding day, well and the real one too ;).

I’ve been running through rain that I thought would never end

Trying to make it on faith in a struggle against the wind

I’ve seen the dark and the broken places

But I know in my soul no matter how bad it gets, I’ll be alright

There’s hope in front of me

There’s a light I still see it

There’s a hand still holding me

Even when I don’t believe it

I might be down but I’m not dead

There’s better days still up ahead

Even after all I’ve seen, there’s hope in front of me

There’s a place at the end of the storm you’ll finally find

Where the hurt and the tears and the pain all fall behind

You open up your eyes and up ahead there’s a big sun shining

Right then and there you realize, you’ll be alright

There’s hope in front of me

There’s a light I still see it

There’s a hand still holding me

Even when I don’t believe it

I might be down but I’m not dead

There’s better days still up ahead

Even after all I’ve seen, there’s hope in front of me

There’s a hope still burning

I can feel it rising through the night

And my world’s still turning

I can feel Your love here by my side

You’re my hope

You’re the light I still see it

Your hands are holding me

Even when I don’t believe

Oh, I’ve got to believe, I’ve got to believe

I still have hope

You are my hope

 

Onwards and upwards, for His glory,

8 responses to “Wedding Day”

  1. Anita says:

    Very inspirational Kelly…you are truly fortunate that you are able to focus on a different race in the near future to keep your fire going.

  2. Amy Carroll says:

    Wow, Kelly. You are even more heroic in my eyes than ever before. Your faith will carry you through this rough patch just like it carries you through the victories. Hang in there, champ.
    Amy Carroll

  3. whitney says:

    Love Kelly! you are such an inspiration–I am proud to know you! xoxo

  4. Beth Hernandez says:

    “In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” Proverbs 16:9

    Thinking about you Kelly. I am grateful that your authenticity allows all of us to grow in faith, spirit and strength. <3

  5. Pam Wilson says:

    Kelly,
    I am so sorry to hear of your injury. The path He has you on right now is one to make you stronger than you ever imagined. I look forward to hearing about your future race! It’s inspiring to have a professional athlete express disappointment about a set back so openly. Thank you! Wishing you many more victories!
    Pam Wilson

  6. Emily Brinkley says:

    You continue to inspire so many with your hard work and your childlike faith. This is heartbreaking to hear, but already seeing how you’ve found peace through this gut punch shows yet again how truly strong you are. Praying for you.

  7. Ashley Lee says:

    Love it Love it Love it!!! You are sitting at the feet of the Almighty Powerful teacher-Jesus. Instead of being busy preparing for the guests like Martha, God has chosen for you to sit at the feet of Jesus and learn (Luke 10:38-42). He has given us his Spirit to dwell in our hearts, but most importantly – teach us. Wow! Just think, the teacher Kelly is being taught. Beautiful wedding story!!! Praise God!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *